Truth.

Sometimes allowing myself to think too hard

is a bad thing. I don't want to sit down & write

lies. So I'm deciding tonight to sit down & write truths. 

"You need not to fear the future, for I am already there.

Your future is in my hands. I release it to you day by day,

moment by moment. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow.

I want you to live this day abundantly. Don't be distracted by

future concerns. Receive abundant life which flows freely from My

throne of grace." 

[Matt 6, John 10, James 4]

Let that be enough. 

I am a tree in a story about a forest.

Sometimes I think I'm a tree in a story

about a tree. 

[I'm not.]

"...& he said to me that I am a tree

 in a story about a forest, 

& it is arrogant of me to believe any differently. 

He told me that 

the story of the forest 

is better than the story of the tree. "

-Donald Miller 

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. 

If you like to waste time.

I've come home with a headache just about every day

the past couple of weeks. So on days like these, I wrote blogs like this: 

My top favorite websites which are great for wasting time, 

and refreshing your spirits. 

[One: Maddie on things]

I am a huge fan of this website. 

Maddie on things is a collection of pictures

of Maddie the coonhound in various locations. 

Love her. 

[two: children with swag]

My hope is that I will love my

future children as much as I love these kids.

[Three: Today's letters]

I aspire to be just like this girl. 

There are many things that can change a life...

a letter is one of them. 

What I've Learned [Part 1]

I am a process. 
[My identity at any given moment in time is unchanging.
But my experience of that identity- my actions, behaviors,
and understanding of myself-is dynamic.]

I'm a person driven by all things tangible.
I want to see results of the work I put into something,
& I want to know what it takes to get something completed.
I am goal-oriented and thrive on to-do lists. To me, if it's worth doing,
it has both a starting point an & ending point.  Because I operate
this way, I often fail to recognize the journey I am on. As much
as I want to understand the things around me, I also want to understand myself &
be able to give an account for how I am doing, what I'm learning, & where I'm
going at any given moment in time. When people ask, I want
to be able to articulate myself well in a concise, measured way
 with both honesty and wisdom.

But what I'm learning in this season of life, is
that this is not always easy to do. 
In a difficult season of life, it seems as though these answers
change on a momentary basis. The answers are multi-facetted, and there
is almost always brokeness which accompanies the 
victories accomplished in growth. & that's okay, because

[growth is a process.
our lives are a process. 
I am a process. ]

It would be unfair for someone to pause any particular
moment of my life and say "this is who she is." 
Similarly, if I were to formulate a judgement by such a 
momentary perspective, I would miss out on that person's journey
toward who he or she is becoming.

Day by day.

I'm three weeks closer to being called "Doctor."

My concept of time is throwing me off-

days seem to pass so slowly, but I can't

seem to believe that one month ago today, 

I moved to Nashville. 

Class is in full swing, and I'll bet before I know it

I'll be working on my residency & sitting for the 

national boards exam. I've already found my old

bad habits of prioritizing poorly and studying ineffectively

haunting me in just three weeks. 

But I'm learning. 

What I've learned: An overview.

I've been contemplating this mini series for a while.
I'm caught in the middle of the most
difficult, yet growing season of my life so far, & I
have a deep need to be reflective on what I'm learning
through it all. I firmly believe that no discipline seems
pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it
produces a harvest of righteousness & peace for those
who have been trained by it. [Hebrews 12:11] If I do
indeed believe these words, I must be trained by what
I've experienced & will experience in order to find myself
admidst a harvest of righteousness & peace.

With that said, I'm going to embark on documenting

what I've learned through a season of brokenness. It 

is my hope not to dwell on the process of how I got here,

but rather on what foundational changes I'll take with me from

here on out. I have never grown so deeply, so quickly in my 

life & I feel like it would be foolish to not acknowledge what 

it is that has changed me. There will be a day when this particular

season is over in my life, & I want to forever be reminded of 

where I once was. It is also my hope that this list continues to grow.

What I've learned in brokenness: 

We are a process. 

There is a need for emotional vulnerability.

Being broken connects one to another.

Brokenness yields opportunity for new things.

Nothing is wasted. 
It is easy to keep yourself from healing.

As often as possible I'll work through each of these, 

creating an Ebenezer of sorts, where I can say

"Thus far, the Lord has helped me." 

Today Wasn't Made for Me & You.

It's been too long. I've got lots of thoughts,
most involving the fact that It's now been
[three weeks] since I got to Nashville.

It's been great. I'll update more on that when I
get a chance to fully plant my feet underneath me.
But I know what happens when I take too long of
a break from writing: I keep waiting because the
thoughts of things I want to write about become
overwhelming. So this is me breaking the silence
& vowing that I will write a proper update soon.

Until then, this is what I'm listening to lately
as I begin to call Music City home: