Maybe I am a particularly oblivious
person & I need all the hints I can get, but for some reason, when I’m
learning a lesson, I am reminded of its theme e v e r y w h e r e. The
conversations I have with people, the books I am reading, and even the media I
am currently consuming all seem to point to the presence of whatever truth I
need to learn. I appreciate it, because I am so easily distracted, that I often
need more than one reminder of the important lessons that come my way.
I wrote
about it in my year-end review, but it seems that the theme so far of 2013 for
me is patience. As I sit here on April 5, I can’t help but recognize that the
lesson I was learning at the turn of the year is the lesson I am still learning. Even as I write this, the thought of “Aren’t I done learning that, yet?” has fluttered through my mind once or twice. The irony of that thought’s impatience actually just made me laugh. Nope, I’m not done learning patience, yet.
Lately my
impatience has manifested itself from the newness of spring and the signs of
new life all around me. I am finally feeling the deep peace that was promised
to me after the most difficult year of my life, (a post on this will come soon)
& I am already experiencing the excitement of restoration and hopefulness
of a new year. But, I find it remarkable
how quickly I exchange this fresh start for uncertainty and restlessness for my
future. Almost instantaneously, it seems, I replace hope with distrust and courage with fear. I find myself itching to
make things work how I want them to, & a heavy discouragement settles on my
soul when things don’t move at the pace or direction I desire them to.
As
prevalent as my impatience has been lately, I have found reminders of
appreciating now more abundant yet. I
am thankful for reminders that convince me of the beautiful simplicity that results
from a patient lifestyle. Something tells me this patience journey will be a
lifelong one for me, but today, I am happy to wait.
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