Relax.

I'm sitting in Kansas City for the night,

waiting for my red-eye flight to Houston tomorrow morning. 

Even though I've been on vacation for the past 10 days or so,

I am very much looking forward to 

this next leg of my trip. 

Maybe it's the fact that tomorrow's high is 75. 

Maybe it's the fact that I haven't quite relaxed since I left last week. 

Maybe it's the fact that my favorite person happens to be

waiting for me in that 75 degree weather. 

Anyway you look at it, I am excited. 

I could get used to this graduated thing. 

Whirlwind.

I've used the word whirlwind a lot,

 when describing my life lately. 

As I approached my undergraduate

graduation ceremony on Friday, 

I think deep down, I thought

 I would have a lot of questions answered. 

Questions like: 

[What's next?]

[Where am I going to live when my lease runs out?]

[What will my life look like this time next year?]

I realize it's been less than a week 

since I finished my undergraduate career, 

but the feelings of

relief,

anticipation, 

and excitement 

that I always thought I'd feel at this moment in time

are being overshadowed by 

uncertainty. 

It's easy for me to think "when

[insert life event] happens...I'll feel content." 

But as I stand on the other side of arguably one of the most 

monumental events in my life thus far, I think I'm

starting to realize that contentment transcends my emotions. 

It's a way of choosing to live. 

I don't know what's next. 

I don't know where I'll be living when my lease runs out.

&I don't know what my life will look like this time next year. 

But I do know what I am trying for, where my hope stands, and 

that I now have some freedom to enjoy the future. 

I am content with that. 

creations

Because I'm too tired to write about the fact that I graduated yesterday, 

[but it did, indeed, happen. More on that later]

Here is the third installment of some of the things 

I have done in the past week. 

Today's topic: 

creations. 

Besides having the bizarre experience of making a 

model of a Civil War train crash, 

I made a few things that 

I wanted to document.

one. 

[clementine candle]

This cute little thing 

burned for over an hour! 

here's how. 

two. 

[blackberry syrup, compote & granola]

[blackberries are SO CHEAP right now.]

three. 

[kale chips.]

I've made these before, but I  

am starting to think I could

persuade even the biggest veggie hater 

to change their mind.

Have you ever?

I never thought I'd make a diorama in college.

[One depicting a train crash from the civil war.]

I never thought I'd craft a tiny tree forest, 

or tiny train cars out of of foam, with dimes as wheels.

Oh, and I certainly never thought I'd do

these things at 2 in the morning, 

my 5th year in college.

But I did.

All for this boy, who needed help

for his final [honors] class to graduate. 

My life is getting more and more bizarre these days. 

ps. I graduate tomorrow.

photo booth.

I'm super busy scrambling to get everything done before graduation on Friday. 

But here's the first of a series of snapshots from my past few days.

[Daniel & Michelle's big day.]

photo booths: always a good time. 

Not my day.

Between getting a flat tire in -7 degree weather,

working on a 20 page paper I have absolutely no idea how to write,

feeling like a [terrible] person by forgetting to do something I committed to, 

and having to miss the last work event that I'll be able to be a part of, 

today is not my day.  

Everything about this day makes me want to

give up.

cry.

not care. 

But 1) I don't have time for these things.

and 2) I have to remember what I read this morning: 

"Give ear to my words, O Lord, 

consider my sighing. 

Listen to my cry for help, 

my King and my God, 

for to you I pray. 

In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice;

in the morning I lay my requests

 before you and wait in expectation. "

Let that be enough.

Dear...

Dear boyfriend, 

thanks for throwing me this awesome mug.

[and thanks, Jessiann for glazing it!]

I now have a new favorite thing to drink warm drinks

out of while I study for finals. 

You're the best. ♥ Laura

Dec. 1

Today we decorated our house for Christmas. 

Complete with Justin Bieber Holiday Pandora,

a real tree, 

handmaid Russian doll ornaments,

a nativity, 

and homemade kale chips.
[the last item isn't necessarily traditional, but they were delicious.]

Here's to two more weeks of undergrad!

  

Things that delight my ♥

As November ends, I thought I'd make one more post 

going along with the theme I adopted for this month: 

thankfulness.

Here are a few pictures of things that have delighted my heart in the past few days:

1. Fiesta-themed birthday celebrations for people I love! 

[notice the fan-tas-tic cake]

2. Cuddly cats. There are many cat-haters in this world.

[I am not one of them.]

3. Meeting with people I love + cuddly black cats.

[perfection.]

4. Dinner dates with my favorite person.

[notice his handsome, mustache-less face.]

[check out that beer-rita. Delicious.]

My heart is full. 

Home again.

[this picture is from a sweet website.]

I'm home again. 

It's weird to say that because just about a week ago, 

when I arrived in Colorado Springs, I said the same thing. 

But I realized something while I was there: 

Colorado Springs is not my home. 

It's not that I didn't enjoy my stay. 

It was full of ample family time.

I read 2 of my 3 books.

I spent time with friends. 

I wasn't in school. 

But it was strange. 

I found myself using sentences with the word home-

each time in reference to Fort Collins. 

The truth is, I've lived in Fort Collins for 4 years now, and it's home. 

While my family is there, I have few other ties to the place I grew up. 

It's a strange realization, but I am comforted by the fact that 

I am in transition.

Home for me, this time next year, could be completely different.

Or it could be exactly the same. For now, I don't mind not knowing, 

I'm just happy to be home.  

23.

It is so easy for me to want:

to want to be somewhere I'm not.

to want relationships I don't have.

to be someone I wasn't made to be. 

I don't think these are normal reactions.

I don't think travelling should make me want to continually leave.

I don't think hanging out with friends should make me want what they have.

I don't think being around others should make me want to change myself.

So why do I want these things? 

Everything inside me wants to just accept it, and say:

[It's just one of those days.]

But it's not. 

Oh, You lead me to waters 

&pastures so green,

Oh, You pour out your oil 

& choose goodness & mercy for me. 

& I will not be in want. 

[for anything but You.]

Bookworm.

I'm home. 

I can't believe that I have 2 weeks of classes, and 1 week of finals and then I'm free.

[for a short time, at least.]

I've got so many things I need to finish before that freedom is mine.

But for now, I'm home. 

Monday, I turned in 2 papers that I had been working on for some time.

When the day was over, I drove to the public library and perused the 

aisles to do what I've wanted to do for so long:

read a book for fun. 

After spending way too long choosing, I decided on 

this one. 

I couldn't put it down. 

After finishing it yesterday, I grabbed a few more 

to keep me occupied for this week off:

The Perks of Being a Wallflower- Stephen Chbosky

[This is a re-read because it's being made into a movie.]

Little Bee-Chris Cleave

White Oleander-Janet Fitch

[I've wanted to read this for SO long.]

It's good to be home.

1 month.

One month from yesterday things change for me.

I will step away from what I've been doing for the last 16 years.

I graduate college.

[Become an adult?]

Yikes!

Although I'm hoping to go back to school in the fall,

this is perhaps the most monumental milestone of my life

[thus far]

It's scary, exciting, stressful, relieving.

All I know is that it is nice to know that the purpose of my life is far from over.

When I get discouraged for a moment when people say that this is as good as it gets,

I have to remember:

He has made everything beautiful in its time. 

Also, he has put eternity into the hearts of men; 

yet they cannot fathom what God has done 

from beginning to end.

It's not over. It's just beginning. 

It makes me want to take a back road.

This morning I was running late for work. 

I grabbed my bike & ran out the door, only to discover

I had a flat tire. Another flat tire. 

I grumbled a bit and then hopped in my car before I was too late. 

As I reached the intersection just before I would reach work on time, 

I realized that I was stopped.

But the light was green. 

In Fort Collins, this only means one thing:

the train. 

 I turned off my car & sat, took a deep breath

and this song  started to play. 

All I could think about was how I am 

thankful that I live in one of the few towns that has train tracks 

running right through it. 

It forces me to stop. And just be. I needed that. 

Nashville.

Today did not go as I planned. I certainly would never have planned to spend 12 hours of my day writing two papers, one of which I already wrote [&lost somewhere in the depths of a campus computer] In fact, I don't think anyone would have planned that kind of day. But nevertheless, that's how I spent it. I spent the first half of the day upset and flustered, on the edge of tears that I had to rush to get my work done [after vowing to not procrastinate in my last semester] but the second half of the day I found myself happy joyful. I'm thankful that I can be changed.

In other news, here's a quick update on the past couple days and my trip to Nashville:
[I never saw Taylor Swift, but I did see her apartment.]

At 11 PM local time, Mickey and I landed in Nashville, 

much to our surprise, in a very tiny airport.

We were greeted with pictures of country music stars [everywhere] 

and started to feel less and less trendy by the minute. [Those Nash-villains have style.]

The weekend was a whirlwind of campus tours, meeting with faculty at Belmont, 

Navigating the city with Mickey's lovely friends, Bru, KB, and Steve, 

and spending some time getting to see what the locals do. 

Mickey and I both were really surprised and somewhat comforted

 to see how small the city actually is, and both of us were impressed by the

hospitality of the people as well as the opportunities that Nashville offered.

It was a wonderful weekend and I hope to return in January for an interview. 

[the skeletal system picture is a print I found at a boutique. So cool.]

travel.

Nov.8- Tuesday I was thankful for a home cooked meal.
[that I did not make] While I love cooking, I worked so much
this week that the last thing I wanted to do was come home
and find something to make for dinner. Mickey had a crock pot
of his dad's chili recipe and sweet cornbread made that
her shared with me. So good.

I was thankful for being extremely financially blessed this year.

 I feel very privileged in general, but this year, in particular,

 has left me feeling very thankful for the jobs I have. 

In a time when good jobs are hard to come by, 

I consider myself lucky to work where I do.-Nov 9 

Nov. 10

Today I am thankful for productivity. I have a significant chunk of homework

 to complete this weekend, and as I leave for Nashville this afternoon, I

am pleasantly surprised to find the pockets of time  that come out of nowhere

which enable me to get done what I need.

Speaking of Nashville- I'm leaving tonight! I'm attending a preview day for the doctorate

program of Occupational Therapy at Belmont! 

I'm super excited to get away and hopefully get some clarity on a 

place I might be calling home for the next three years. [I'm hoping to run into Taylor Swift]

Contentment.

Today was a good day. I normally dread Mondays because they're 

7am-7pm work-school-nonstop-craziness.

But something about today made me feel at peace. 

Not anxious.

Not stressed.

Just content. 

I am thankful for that. 

Happy Birthday.

Nov. 4: I had the opportunity to get together with many of the senior women in navs for dinner and processing through what we've learned in college. It was an unexpected blessing because I was able to hang out with a lot of the girls who I don't know super well in the class below me.

2 fun things happened Saturday that I am thankful for-  Nov. 5

1. I got trained to play with ponies  for the morning. 

I'm going to be working with a OT certified in

hippotherapy. So fun. I am very thankful

for smart people who realized horses are therapeutic,

as well as the opportunity to get my hands [and boots] dirty to help. 

2. I am thankful for Kelsey. 

Mickey and I headed to Boulder to celebrate her 23rd birthday.

 [this picture is from Nassau, Bahamas]

Kelsey is one of my best friends and all around favorite people. 

I am THANKFUL for her. 

Nov 6: Today I am thankful for sunshine. It's a nice break from the snow and cold. 

Thanks.

I've been thinking a lot about my occasional inability to look on the bright side. 

I really dislike the fact that I am often overly critical and sometimes downright cynical. 

In the spirit of Thanksgiving at the end of this month, I've decided I'm going

to document 24 reasons why I am thankful. [one for each day].

This is not something entirely new. In the past, I've tried to sit down once a week and

list 10 things I'm thankful for, but I thought this would be

a good way to discipline myself, and honestly consider how privileged I am. 

This isn't to say each day's topic will be profound or elaborated upon, but rather

a chance to celebrate good things. 

Nov. 1 - I am thankful for warm coffee shops like Everyday's Joe's. It makes my studying bearable. 

I am thankful for snow. [what?!] Yep, I really do know I'll miss it someday. -Nov 2

Nov. 3

Today, I am thankful for this: 

Kara is, hands-down, the best pen pal ever. Her card-just to say hello- made me very thankful for her today. In case you're reading, you're getting something back in the mail. 

180.

Since working for a medical clinic which offers options 

counseling to women facing unplanned pregnancies, I've come across a lot of information, 

statistics, and arguments supporting the sanctity of life. I've seen my share of people 

offend, demean, and get absolutely nowhere in the name

of projecting a voice for unborn children. Many times,

pure, but ultimately misguided intentions fall short of

the "change" that the individual envisioned when taking 

such a stance. 

I came across this documentary and had to share. It is compelling,

 concise, and well put together.

 Most of all, it propels viewers to become introspective and think critically,

 rather than spewing hate and judgement, which [not surprisingly] fail

to cultivate love and grace. 

Jesse Katsopolis: Original Hipster.

I have a little known secret that I only reveal to the rare few who I know won't judge [too harshly].

I love Full House. 

Yes, the late 80's, early 90's sitcom masterpiece which paved the Olsen twins' road to stardom. I'd say it is a healthy obsession, as far as television show interests go; It's trumped in my TV memorable pastimes of the era only by Boy Meets World. 

[sidenote]  It's strange. 

No one will say a word when it 

comes to a Boy Meets World interest, 

but pop a Full House DVD in 

and immediately everyone is TCFS*. 

The purpose of this post is not to discuss the array of life lessons, wholesome role models, or riveting plot sequences that this show offered to viewers all over, but rather to highlight a reason why I believe it would thrive in today's culture: 

Jesse Katsopolis = hipster. 

Some have argued that Steve Urkel was ahead of his time for today's hipster-infused era.

 See here, here, or here. 

But I'd like to argue that Uncle Jesse, while less obvious than Urkel, exhibited trademark, unmistakable signs of hipsterdom:  

1.Real hipsters never admit that they are hipsters.

Jesse constantly lived under the stereotype of "biker dude," musician, or "bad guy" That's so hipster.

2. Hipsters wear large rimmed glasses.

3. Hipsters wear deep v-necks, large sweaters & suspenders. 

I could go on and on, but I'll leave this clip for the two hipster-trendsetters to face off. Which is the original? You decide. Notice the cowboy boots-urban look. hipster.

Ps. Happy Halloween

[*too cool for school.]

Design.

If anyone were to take a look at my craft closet, they would see that I am full of good intentions. Unfortunately, my not-so-good relationship with commitment has left me with lots of creative supplies, but very few completed projects. 

Wednesday night, my roommate, friend and I decided that the new winter weather was a perfect setting for some crafting. 

So that's what we did.

 

I've collected lots of pretty paper over the years, so I decided that

 I'd work on something inspired by this. I've got plenty of partially finished projects, so it felt good to sit down and work on something I've wanted to make for a while. 

Rather than make a mobile, I just wanted to make a paper lantern garland for above our big, 

living room window. 

I seriously cannot wait until I graduate so I can craft more. Until then, I'll just chip away at the many started projects, just waiting to be finished. 

Next: A colorful top tube pad for my bike. 

[and perhaps one for the boy's bike.]

Fickle.

This is me:

The reason I have such a large grin on my face is because this picture was taken on June 21, 2011. Yes, the first day of summer. There's something not-so-threatening about a summer snow. Sure, it sneaked up on me as I was working in the mountains of Granby, CO, but I knew it would be a short-lived. In fact, if I had not taken this picture when I did, I probably would have missed the snow altogether; it came and went so fast. 

This is yesterday: 

Nothing at all is threatening about this picture. In fact, it's rather pleasant. The kind of weather you go for a run in wearing shorts and a t-shirt. (Which I did yesterday). 

That's the difference between June and October in Colorado. 

Changes in the weather are much more threatening. 

This is today: 

Notice the branches ALL OVER the ground. A combination of heavy, wet snow and leafy, still-thinking-it's-autumn-trees caused tree limbs all over the city to break and fall. 

If my house did not look so darn cute in the snow, I might be mad. 

Feels like I travel, but I never arrive.

I've been wanting to write for a while. I've been afraid to, because I've found myself in a semester where I've been avidly listening to lies as opposed to the truth. I don't want to give anything that is not true the time to marinate in my mind by writing about it, but I've found it is probably a good idea to process anyway.

I am not a processor. 

Life is a lot easier for me when I quickly move on from things. But there is a difference between dwelling on the past and remembering. 

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth. 

Do you not perceive it? 

I will make a way in the wilderness  

and rivers in the desert. 

In other news, this song is controlling my life.

Sky Writing.

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view.  May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.  ~Edward Abbey

Drinking through a fire hose

Holy Moly. The last 4 weeks [what? it's been that long already?] have been IN-TENTS. [I work at the campground] But seriously, things have been quite a whirlwind since I arrived at Snow Mountain Ranch on June 5th. Kara's wedding was a blast. She was beautiful and the wedding was one of the most fun I've been to. It was quite exciting, with some beautiful weather, a fun wedding party, some fainting by members of the wedding party, and LOTS of dancing. It was really fun to dance like crazy with people I don't know very well. It's a bit strange having one of your best friends married, but I suppose that's how life goes. I am really excited for her life with Chris and even more excited that she'll be in Colorado for a bit longer before she starts the exciting life of a military wife. 

The remainder of the time between Kara's wedding and today, July first have been packed full of excitement, fun, bonding, learning, and work. I wish I had time to lay out everything I've been doing in detail, but seeing as I have about reached the halfway point and am just now blogging for the first time, I'm going to have to get to that later. I'll try to summarize the highlights in a somewhat concise, articulate way. 

• My TEAM! The girls on my team are named Michelle [CU], Kelsey [UCCS], and Karla [CSU]. I really lucked out and was given the three most fun, teachable, mature girls here. They all are an absolute JOY and I love getting to know them better. 
• CAMPGROUNDS! I work at the YMCA campgrounds with two other team leaders [David and Reese]. The three of us get along very well and have an absolute blast just about every day we work. I am very thankful that my work experience at SMR is something that I continually look forward to. 
• My parents and brother were able to visit on June 22 and it was really fun to see them all. While I am meeting lots of wonderful new people, familiar faces are always refreshing to see. It was also a great excuse to head into Grand Lake to see them for an evening. 
• We're currently studying the book of Colossians and it has been enlightening and challenging to really apply the truths that God has been confronting my heart with from this book. I love it. 
• BOYFRIEND! Mickey Brooks blindsided me with a visit to Colorado after I had completely resolved it in my heart that he would be unable to visit. It brightened my entire summer and I was excited to be able to share him with the new friends I've made. As I was afraid it would be, it was all-together too short of a visit, but I was happy to reset my countdown to the next time I'll see him. He continually reminds me of what a wonderful boyfriend he is. 


• During his visit we did some hiking in Grand Lake, and had a couple friends join us to a look out spot that was absolutely breath-taking.
• It was, again, wonderful to spend some time with someone who knows me extremely well outside of this program. It gets exhausting trying to get to know people all the time. 
• God is teaching me so much. I'm writing lots down and taking time to process things. For the first time in a long time, I am seeing myself slow down and focus on things that are important, and that's encouraging. As I process I will add more here, but much of this program is like drinking out of a fire hose. 

Overall, I am thoroughly enjoying my time at Snow Mountain Ranch. It's beautiful, I am learning a lot, and I am excited for what's to come. 

Home is wherever I'm with you.

This hurts my heart it's so cute. 

home again, home again jiggity jig

The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind: 

Finals week [cleaning, packing, cleaning, packing] I said goodbye to Fort Collins and some of my best friends. The boy and I drove 20 hours through the night to his lovely home in Sugar Land, TX. [his car is a manual] We spent 6 days with his family. [i love them] I said goodbye to Michael Brooks for at least 11 weeks. [lots of tears] I flew back to Denver. [my flight was delayed] Kara had her bachelorette party [so fun. so tired] And now I'm here in Colorado Springs attempting to get every little piece of my life for the summer figured out before June 3rd. [deep breath] 

June 3rd and 4th is the weekend of Kara's wedding and after that I am off to Granby for the summer. I'm excited and nervous, but more excited than nervous. You'd think I'd be getting pretty good at this summer away from my boyfriend thing, since this is our third apart, but each time I think about it, it makes me a little sick to my stomach. Luckily, I'll be busy enough to hopefully make it a little less painful. 

Through everything that is going on, I am mostly excited for a summer full of growth, new friends, and fun. I'm excited to see God show himself to me as a stable constant even while my heart is unsettled. I'm excited to live in a beautiful place where I can feel his creation praising him. 

Instrument of Peace

I made these for one of the girls I meet with. I thought I'd share. They're all prayers that have changed my life. I'm thinking about putting together a book of all of them and asking others to join me. They're a bit difficult to read on here, but it's all inspired from Brennan Manning's Ragamuffin Gospel Visual Edition. 

730 days.

Friday marked two years that I have been dating Mickey. It's strange to think that we've been dating for that long, especially when I think about how much I have yet to discover about him. It's a neat thing really, how complex people are. It seems like I am constantly learning something new, seeing a new expression, or realizing something different about who he is and is becoming. It makes me wonder if this still happens to couples who have been married a long time, or if there comes a time when you know someone completely. I wonder. I wonder. I'd like to think that as dynamic creatures, our lives are never able to be totally defined. But maybe I just think that because I've been dating Mickey for 730 days, but I am still surprised, almost daily, with the intricacies that make him, him.

It makes me excited for the future when I think about the fun thing's we've already done. We've traveled to Utah, Texas, Florida, Seattle, and even the Bahamas. I've grown to love his family, and have loved watching him get to know mine. We share so much in common with our interests, but I am constantly reminded and impressed by his individuality.

We spent yesterday afternoon at the Denver Aquarium, and then had an appetizer and a couple drinks at a local restaurant and bar called City O'City.Then we headed back up to Fort Collins for dinner in Old Town. I appreciate Mickey's love for trying new things-it's one of my favorite things about him. It was a lovely night and I'm excited to see where the future takes us. 

Thursday Thankfulness. Again.

I'm forcing myself to do this today because honestly I am not having a great day. I'm in one of those moods where I allow myself to be consumed by anxiety or stress to the point where I feel like pessimism is the easiest way to be.

[it's not.]

However, if I do one thing today that is productive, I want to it be finding ten things that I am thankful for. So here they are:

one. Breakfast date with Mickey.
[My favorite part of the week]
two. New shampoo.
three. Puppy-sitting.
four. Payday tomorrow.
five. Finishing my senior thesis. HA-LE-LU-IA.
six. Finishing my senior thesis.
[not a cop-out. I am that thankful.]
seven. Finishing a journal and starting another.
eight. Sunshine
nine. Rearranging my room.
ten. David. Studied him this week and he taught me a lot.