The Non-Competition Curse

Recently, I read a quote by Donald Miller that got me thinking. He said,

"I'm noticing that my less competitive friends accomplish so much less than I do & are so much more content."

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I thought about these words frequently during the past 2 weeks as I finished projects, typed papers, studied all night for exams, and prepared to finish my second semester of graduate school. In the world of academia, I often struggle to separate myself from the rat race that is academic success. In my heart of hearts, I desire learning over grades, but the system doesn't function that way & I fall into the trap semester after semester despite knowing that it isn't right. It seems like everything about how the world works points to a fundamental truth that success comes to those who work hard enough. The harder we work, the more we gain, & those who get to the top get there through dedication & effort. Basically, if you have enough desire, you'll fight hard enough, & if you fight hard enough, you'll win. 

 I've also thought about that quote in regard to other aspects of my life. Apart from academia, I've always been a little bit frustrated by my lack of competitive spirit. I've often felt torn between this idea of working hard for what I want, yet being patient & allowing myself to receive what God has for me. When I look at my life, I see seasons of passivity sprinkled with dedication which turned into an obsession to get what I wanted. I've learned the hard way that accomplishing things in my own time leads to more destruction than success. Manipulation is a corrosive trait, & the fight for control is one that I have battled most of my life.  Surrender is such a simple word, but such a difficult concept to grasp. 

It all makes me wonder. How hard do you work for what you want? For academic success? For relational success? Is it okay to not want to fight for something that isn't yours to fight for? I fully believe that God has the ability to transform & awaken my desires. I've watched him do it in my life. But I've found that the most receptive position to receive is with an open hand. & competition, in the right contexts, can look a whole lot like a closed one. It makes me think that Donald Miller

might have had something when he equated contentment to freedom from competition.