Numb.

One week ago, I wrote about the wild fire that was quickly approaching

dangerously close to my family home. In that moment, I did not know of the 

horrifying events I would experience just 2 days later. I did not know that 

I would never return to my neighborhood the way it was when I left it.
I did not know that I would never return to my neighborhood the way I was when I left it.

I did not know that I would live through the scariest night of my 23-year-old life,

& begin to experience a cycle of fear & sadness that would consume me at first,

and then leave me numb after. I did not know that I would spend the next

168 hours in a daze, glued to the television, unable to function on a normal level,

but feeling guilty when I tried. & I certainly did not know that in the midst of such

chaos, I would begin to catch glimpses of the first signs of 

redemption & rebirth while the fire was still burning.

But as I sit down to write this, I am tired.
I am exhausted. All I want to do is process what has happened in the past week,
but I can't yet. & I'm letting that be okay.