29 days.

This year has one month left in it. 

Never in my life have I wanted time to pass quickly & stand still 

so badly at the same time.  Part of me wants to just put 2012 out of its misery & welcome

2013 with arms wide open. But another part wants time to stop-

I just don't want to start a new year just yet. Give me one more month &

maybe then I'll be ready. But sure enough, each morning I wake up & another

day has passed. I don't even want to talk about the fact that it was

August just yesterday, wasn't it? Then I think about all I've done since

then and all of a sudden the past 4 months feel like an eternity, crawling

by at a snail's pace. Time is so strange like that. 

So here I am on December 2, and I am already thinking about 

this year's end & if I'm honest, I'm a little bit scared. What if this new year doesn't bring

what I hope it will? What if I miss something in these next 29 days because

all I can think about are the following 365? What if the messiness of this

past year doesn't become compartmentalized in 2012 on December 31, 

never to be seen again in 2013? 

The truth is, I know it won't. Life doesn't work that way. 

While I'll never again live through December 2, 2012, I probably

will carry with me some of the hurt, confusion, & uncertainty of this year into

the next. & maybe I won't. Either way, time is moving forward, & like

everyone has always told me, time has a strange way of settling things. 

I can feel it happening. I'm looking forward to these next 29 days.