There is a need for emotional vulnerability.
I've spent a good portion of my life out of touch with my own emotions.
It's not that I don't feel things. But when it comes to identifying
just what it is I am feeling, I often struggle to recognize or categorize my emotions.
I remember watching The Notebook in theaters & feeling highly
uncomfortable while everyone cried around me. It was then that I first
realized that I'm not very emotional.
.
just what it is I am feeling, I often struggle to recognize or categorize my emotions.
I remember watching The Notebook in theaters & feeling highly
uncomfortable while everyone cried around me. It was then that I first
realized that I'm not very emotional.
.
Call it being unsentimental.
Call it being hard-hearted.
Call it having a heart that is 3 sizes too small.
What I've learned in this season of life is that there is an absolute need
for emotional vulnerability. Could the root of my inability to exhibit genuine emotion
stem not from an inability to do so, but rather a fear of transparency?
Probably not in the case of watching The Notebook, but most definitely
in my emotional relatedness and honestly with myself & others.
In my worst moments, I want to attribute this to being an internal processor,
but when I'm honest with myself, I can identify the root of this as pride.
More specifically, it is a control issue of choosing just how vulnerable,
just how broken I wanted others to view me as.
But here's what I'm learning:
Brokenness is the human condition.
We all share a common thread of brokenness,
whether it be a failure in achievement, relationships or status.
We all hurt, we all feel, & we all experience deep movement within us
that is not only natural, but necessary for growth. Confronting the state
of my own heart & allowing myself to be emotionally vulnerable has been
one of the best things I'm learning to do. I am overflowing with good
things that I have gained through conversations, questions asked, &
advice received because I've allowed myself to be a little bit vulnerable.
Now that I've experienced these things, I can't imagine sacrificing them
for the sake of not feeling a little bit of hurt.
Call it being hard-hearted.
Call it having a heart that is 3 sizes too small.
What I've learned in this season of life is that there is an absolute need
for emotional vulnerability. Could the root of my inability to exhibit genuine emotion
stem not from an inability to do so, but rather a fear of transparency?
Probably not in the case of watching The Notebook, but most definitely
in my emotional relatedness and honestly with myself & others.
In my worst moments, I want to attribute this to being an internal processor,
but when I'm honest with myself, I can identify the root of this as pride.
More specifically, it is a control issue of choosing just how vulnerable,
just how broken I wanted others to view me as.
But here's what I'm learning:
Brokenness is the human condition.
We all share a common thread of brokenness,
whether it be a failure in achievement, relationships or status.
We all hurt, we all feel, & we all experience deep movement within us
that is not only natural, but necessary for growth. Confronting the state
of my own heart & allowing myself to be emotionally vulnerable has been
one of the best things I'm learning to do. I am overflowing with good
things that I have gained through conversations, questions asked, &
advice received because I've allowed myself to be a little bit vulnerable.
Now that I've experienced these things, I can't imagine sacrificing them
for the sake of not feeling a little bit of hurt.
& part 1 here.]
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