I'm not sure if I was expecting to feel different when I woke up in 2013 than I
did when I went to sleep in 2012,
but I do know that I woke up on January 1 almost exactly as I did the day before.
In fact, everything about the start of this year was eerily familiar to the end of the last.
It seems like the newness of the new year just isn't here yet.
It's got me thinking about change & how sometimes it just feels
so dang slow. As I sit here next to a box of tissues & a stomach
full of cough drops, I think about the times I've been really sick.
It seems like every time I get really sick, [a rather common occurrence for me]
I forget what it feels like to be healthy. I'm just sick. & then one day I'm better.
The days in-between are usually a gradual process of healing, but all I know
is that during those days, I'm not well. For some reason, it's really hard for me to track my progress. All I can focus on is my current state.
That's sort of how I feel about this past year, the first 5 days of 2013, & growth in general.
One day you just wake up & realize that things have changed.
[most of the time that you've changed]
but by the time you've realized this, the days in-between are a blur.
The end result is undeniable; there was most definitely a change. But there exists
no monumental catalyst for the change; it just happens.
This is where I am. I know there is movement happening,
but when I try to pinpoint that movement, I just can't. But I know one day
I'll be able to. Until then, I've claimed this chapter for 2013:
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