Emotion

Sometimes I wish I could turn off the thoughts in my head.

Lately I've been consumed by them, functioning on half hour intervals of 

distraction- Whatever it'll take to not focus on what's going through my mind.

I close my eyes to sleep & instantly my brain is flooded with

thoughts/ideas/fears/scenarios. 

I am awakened hours before I need to be up by

thoughts that I just cannot stifle. 

I hate that I'm such an internal processor. 

I hate that I'm not articulate when it comes 

to expressing what I think & feel; hurting

people in the process because they feel that I 

cannot be open with them. 

A friend & I were joking the other day about how

nice it would be to be able to take an injection 

that would suppress our ability to feel emotion.

[Equilibrium, anyone?]

Obviously this is a little extreme, but sometimes I can't help

wonder if this would grant me some relief from my constant

thoughts. & I know that emotions are good & set us apart

as a human species, but it doesn't make it easier to face

important decisions when they are constantly fluctuating. 

But what I'm clinging to today is this: 

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, & forever. 

I believe it.